BDSM vs Abuse: The Checklist That Shows You The Difference

So many people are terribly misinformed about what true BDSM looks like. There are many clear and significant differences between BDSM and abuse, which are outlined for you in the checklist below.

If you check ‘no’  to any of the following what you are experiencing is abuse and NOT Bdsm.

  1. Do you have a way of stopping what is happening at anytime? (In abuse, you’re not able to stop what is happening).
  2. Have you discussed terms and conditions of your BDSM play a equals prior to beginning a scene? (In abuse, there’s no prior discussion of what will occur.)
  3. Are you sufficiently informed on what it is specifically you have agreed or consented to? (In abuse, your abuser doesn’t give you honest or truthful answers to questions you have.)
  4. Have you set your own limits of what you will do, and has your partner set theirs? (In abuse, your abuser tricks you or forces you or persuades you to do things you don’t want to through sexual or non-sexual coercion.)
  5. Are your limits respected by you partner? (In abuse, your abuser may force you to drink, take drugs or even refuse you necessary medication.)
  6. Are you able to express your feelings openly without fear? (In abuse, you don’t feel safe or comfortable to say what you think and feel because you are afraid of the consequences.)

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bdsmVSabuse

This information is an adaptation of a resource obtained at a workshop run by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.