The Price of Unconditional Love: A Lost License for A Hug From Dad

Everyone wants the real thing , the genuine article… in a world of fakes, “realness” is in high demand. -Real music, real food , real stories , real love, real life! This is why we want football coaches that have played the game, take monetary advice from millionaire’s, and love the stories of how some “started from the bottom ” and now they’re here. We seldom ask for business advice from someone who has never owned one, rarely get a tattoo from an artist with none themselves and generally balk at fitness advice from an unhealthy trainer.

Realness and Experience Wanted Please , Enquire Within.

Recently I put myself in a situation, I fucked up grand, I had no excuse , I made a mistake.-I drove home drunk , I got caught and lost my licence.

To search for answers of why I did it is a fools’ game.  I know the risks, the dangers , the effect on others and myself , I also know that possibly many won’t be able to forgive my actions and write me off, and that’s OK…..I guess what I’m saying is, (I’m not making light of the situation by any means) this was my chance to be real and honest to practice what I “preach”…..a chance to prove that a Rose can grow from the concrete, that beauty can be found in the darkest and most unexpected places , and that everything in life has a price, and rarely it has to do with money.

The Price of Unconditional Love……….. A Hug From Dad

So here I am, a grown man living with my Dad, I must say I feel like a teenager again (I might even start listening to “The Used” while smoking weed in my bungalow, ha ha)…. but seriously, moving to Rockhampton and getting to really know my Dad has been amazing…. a lot of the moments we missed out on (through no one’s fault, but just the way it was back then) we have been living now, so you can imagine my stomach as I walked up to the shed to tell Dad the news.

….I walked in and fronted up as a man; little did I know that I was about to get what the boy in me had always wanted. As I told Dad my latest mistake, I initially got what I deserved and expected: anger, shock, disbelief….in Dad’s words,  “you have blown me outta the water”.
In discussing the ” finer detail” of what happened, I just broke down…. I was ashamed and embarrassed…. I had just let so many people down……

And then, it happened…. Dad stood up, came over to me and gave me a hug. A hug I had NEVER got before, one of those It’s-gonna -be-alright-mate  hugs.

“You’re a silly boy, but it’s going to be OK, we’ll work it out”, Dad said, as he kissed me on the head. -I always knew Dad Loved me , but as I mentioned earlier in the piece, we both missed out on so many Father-Son moments, that when he did that, the boy inside me got what he had always wanted, unconditional love from his dad. And this was the price I had to pay. It’s clear I’m not endorsing drink driving, quite the opposite, but if I had to do it again, to get that hug from Dad, I would. That’s how important it was to me… I will never forget it.
I have been a little quite on Social Media as of late. To say I wasn’t in the best mental state afterwards was well an understatement… not only did I let my friends and family down, I let myself down…..Amongst everything else that was going on, I was faced with a decision: to share and write about it, or not.
I was sick with what I had done, I might lose friends and respect? …..But on the other hand, if I didn’t, I would be a fake, a hypocrite: how could I coach, inspire and motivate others to “Find the Beauty “, “Embrace Your Past “, and  “Don’t Be so Hard on Yourself”, if I myself wasn’t upfront with my latest personal battle? ….So I lost it , I just didn’t have it in me, I lost the motivation to talk about motivation and goals.

…..I actually started to question myself and the whole… I suppose…. “self improvement game”…..I felt like a fake , and that maybe I was just telling people what to do….. what the hell do I know ??

-For a sec I wasn’t living the words scratched in my skin. I realized it wasn’t until I came clean with this post that I would rediscover that passion, and the belief in myself and what I was doing again.
I have never met anyone that has not had self-doubt , fucked up and questioned their place in life. And this is OK. Truly, these are blessings. It will grow into confidence, practical wisdom, and give you unexpected gifts, the chance to see the world through brand new eyes; a chance to see the beauty…..You Just have to look for it.
It’s funny with most things I write, I speak it out loud like a story almost, if it reads as such I know it’s ready; and as I read this though, I realised it is almost like an Open letter…either way, I feel such happiness and I am excited to share  with everyone my emotions and ideas to come.
I may not be the best or most popular motivational blogger going round but one thing I do know …….. I’m one of the realest.
Talk Soon,
Cisco Rose


 ciscoroseCisco Rose is a musician, artist, speaker, writer, French student and personal trainer with killer abs and an attitude to match. Cisco is passionate about ‘real talk’ and helping people to achieve their goals, and does not believe in excuses or self pity. Cisco has recently moved back to Australia after residing in Port Vila, Vanuatu, and is ready to take on the world, sharing his unrestrained and uncensored messages of courage and perseverance to whoever has the guts to listen and take it in. One of his signature sayings is: “Do you want to be bitter, or do you want to be better?” 

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