It’s safe to say my Friday nights have changed as of late.
I have replaced the booze-soaked madness that I could barley remember, with gym sessions , studying and writing. (Yeah I know, I’m a party animal.)
It all started at 2:00 when I met Nathan at the gym. As well as being a mate and top bloke, he is also running the most recent course I was attending, where we meet up with other students to discuss some finer points of Fitness programs and Coaching. I would say within 2 minutes, Nathan and I had hijacked the class off on a tangent (as we do). Always relatable, it wasn’t before an hour until we reeled ourselves in and discussed the “Homework” required….
(“Class Dismissed”? Ah, not really….)
Nath and I spent the next 2 hours riffing on past relationships, self awareness and goals, picking up right where we left off in class. It even continued as we ripped through the latest crossfit workout. Sucking in air, we were still hashing out philosophies and ideas. (Once we get going it’s hard to stop.)
I had left my Guitar at Nath’s from a couple of week’s back, and had gone after the workout to pick it up; I had some plans for the night so I was only grabbing the guitar and splitting.
(I should of known better.)
….Before too long we were stuffing our faces with butter chicken, getting our mind blown with Alan Watts, and discussing the fact, that while I can dead-lift 160 kg, I have to become some one else to get thick tree trunk legs.
(As I said, hard to stop.)
As well as a teacher and personal trainer Nathan is a Life coach. (Or as he better puts it, “I deal with goals”).
His GF had just sent him a list of all the people she had a negative feeling about, or that she needed to forgive and contact. (This is something he also gets his clients to do, as a way of…I suppose….accepting yourself and taking responsibility for your life and not letting past experiences dictate you in a negative way…..Like an episode of ” My Name is Earl ” I guess.)
After sharing his super personal experience about this challenge with me, he asked me: “Have you done it ? ” …..I took a sec (okay, maybe more), but the first two people that came to mind were easy: my father and my ex GF (a.k.a the girl I wanted to marry). -But I had made peace and forgiven myself (and them) years ago, although maybe I needed a refresh???? (As I continued to search , it hit me and hit me hard.)
“Ah fuck , I don’t wanna”, I said.
Nath replied, “When you do that face and give that look, is when you gotta“.
(I knew I did too.)
Having negative feelings or that knot in your stomach for people you love so much is a weird feeling.
We’re talking friendships spanning 15 years plus, living together, growing together…. we had been through so much good, bad and everything in-between , it’s safe to say that without them, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
….I guess I felt somewhat of a disconnection, uneasy and awkward around them….I felt judged for someone I was before and past events, not the person I was becoming.
Maybe they felt like that around me also?
It was time to find out.
….Now I wrote this at 12:30 pm on a Friday night. If I made the call then and then finished this post, I’d say, it would be a lot different to what I’m going to leave you with now:
….As the next day went on, working myself into a frenzy making the call , it dawned on me.
The result of what happens next is not nearly as important to the initial action of realising that you need to make the call. What it was all about was in fact just making the connection and being at peace with the outcome and yourself , regardless of what happens next.
It would be almost selfish to comment on what happens next in my case, because this could scare some people off or give a false sense of what might happen. Everyone’s situation and experience will be different, but just by doing the above and taking the step to make contact, you have already put into motion “The Art of Letting Go”, “The Art of Moving on”, and the “Art Of Acceptance “.
We let things linger, fester and grow, until an exercise like this becomes unbearable, so events from the past continue to shape our lives in a negative fashion. But by taking this step, we are flexing those inner-strength-muscles that prove to ourselves that WE ARE STRONG and we can get through anything.
I know you can.
So there you go , just another casual Friday night for ‘ya boi Cisco.
I’m certain that if you got through this and you’re reading this now, someone has popped up in your mind.
….I hope your phone is charged up , I think you have some calls to make.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Cisco Rose is a musician, artist, speaker, writer, French student and personal trainer with killer abs and an attitude to match. Cisco is passionate about ‘real talk’ and helping people to achieve their goals, and does not believe in excuses or self pity. Cisco has recently moved back to Australia after residing in Port Vila, Vanuatu, and is ready to take on the world, sharing his unrestrained and uncensored messages of courage and perseverance to whoever has the guts to listen and take it in. One of his signature sayings is: “Do you want to be bitter, or do you want to be better?”
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